The Mental Health Moment June 22nd, 2020

June 22nd, 2020 Transcript – Mental Health Moment 

Transcript by Google Voice Typing – Please excuse errors

Topic – Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development

Welcome Welcome to the Mental Health Moment it’s Monday again in time to take some time for your mental health. I’m your host Joe Newman from Life Launch Centers and this is the show where we talk about all things for your mental health we give tips and tools to help you cope and healthy ways with today’s difficult emotions and you know it seems like mental health is a growing concern for many of us some of us personally some of us because we have loved ones struggling with anxiety depression suicide ideation Eating Disorders isolation social struggles I mean the list goes on and on and it seems like more and more of us are dealing with some of these difficult emotional struggles in life in one way or another so first off I want to make sure everyone out there knows that there is help you don’t have to struggle and summertime is the best time to go help for your loved ones to help them learn these emotional tools that they need to succeed in the upcoming school year so if you or a loved one is overwhelmed with anxiety or depression or just need to build some emotional resilience and give us a call we do have free 15-minute phone consultation the number of Life want centers is 833-803-3883 so today on the show I’ve got with me Kayden foremaster producer at Canyon media.  Kaden thanks again for joining me today to be here.  You know I thought today we talked a little bit about parenting and especially some things we can do to raise emotionally strong children you know with the CDC reporting that one in free kids has anxiety today less than 80% of those excuse me actually end up getting help for their emotional struggles and so I think there’s this this growing concern because we see the the need growing but we’re not maybe not sure what to do about it as parents what we can do so you’re a young married guys I would understand so not yet apparent is that right you have not yet apparent but someday where it sits in the plants at some point you’ll be you’ll be looking at raising some kids and that’s feel as it as a young man looking at at parenting today and you know what are your thoughts about that ultimately I’m excited about it I mean it’s kind of one of those accomplishments that I would like to do so I can totally relate my whole life I’ve looked forward to being a father and but I’ll tell you it’s it was really weird like the very first time I looked at my my first child and realize that I was a father now I would have felt very overwhelmed I was like wow I did I do not feel prepared for this moment I don’t know if there’s an average in a better feel the same way you often hear people say you know parenting doesn’t come with a manual even come with a you-know-what handbook but there are there are actually a lot of helps out there and it was actually about sex after my 4th tile this is terrible it took me that long but I realized that I needed to be better prepared and so I started learning more from parenting books and there’s there is actually a lot of good help out there so I thought today I wanted to talk and maybe introduce some of the principles that I came across that were a great help and a lot of it had to do in the research that was presented to me as I was obtaining a human development and family studies major at the University of Utah and some of the the long-standing principles that are still being talked about today so first I want to talk about Erik Erikson he was a he was a German American psychosocial developmental psychologist and he introduced these stages of development so there’s eight stages of psychosocial development for a over the lifespan okay and the first one he talks about this is really important for bike brand new parents I also want to mention that like just because maybe some of these things you may have not done it doesn’t mean it All Is Lost but it’s also read really helpful to be aware of what stage your kids are in what is first stage he calls trust versus mistrust and it’s from the stages of from birth to about 18 months of age and the whole point of this stage is that this brand new person is looking for consistency in life based upon how the parent response or the caregiver respond that child will develop a sense of I can trust this world or I have to mistrust this world based upon my needs solving if the care is inconsistent or unpredictable or unreliable then the infant May develop a sense of mistrust or suspicion or anxiety it but if it comes if the care is consistent and reliable don’t develop a sense of trust which will carry with them throughout the rest of their lives into relationships and have the sense of security even when they’re threatened and it really starts with and that baby you know that’s out there first prize you know helping their parents know that they need help you know I can be hard for parents where they have no spending has been those long nights awake responding to this infant to who is constantly trying to be reassured that someone is there and he’s going to he’s going to be there for him but it’s it’s so important that we are there for a minute and really what it is they’re looking for patterns you know my wife and I realized that basically what this child wants is to establish some patterns in life when I cry my parents come or when I make this sound then I get fed or you know this sound I get a diaper change and those patterns that that really they’re trying to establish that help them develop a sense of what they can trust or what they mistrust you know it’s it’s interesting how those play stages you know sometimes it becomes so overwhelming that a lot of parents disengage and they’ll have a child like screaming at them and the parent will not respond because maybe they’re overwhelmed then they just they feel like if it just ignore it that the child will eventually calm down but really what it is that child is just screaming for some kind of connection and I’m communication it doesn’t mean that we have to bow down and do exactly what the child wants but it does mean that that we need to engage them so that they can trust that we are there to help give them direction for sure are very like an equipped or maybe they haven’t had a lot of motivation to try to learn some of the stuff and so you know they’re near their kids are going to develop sensitive anxiety or a sense of mistrust and suspicion simply because you know the parents maybe weren’t aware of how they can best approach their needs that first few months of of Life consistency just helps breed stability because he’s stages are set out in certain age ranges doesn’t mean that you stop those behaviors as they develop into another age range you should continue to be consistent then you know that children that child grows and needs direct communication rather than you know being ignored that’s an important principle that continue through their life so anyway very interesting one he called it autonomy versus shame and doubt okay so this stage occurs between the ages of 18 months to approximately 3 years and this stage children are focused on developing a sense of personal control over physical skills and a sense of Independence during these stages do everything we can do to help the child become more independent will help them gain confidence but the more that we coddle them and do things for them it can create in them a sense of Shame and doubt so simple things like letting them dress themselves or you know I said he learned to go to the bathroom use the toilet these simple expressions of how confidence in life it’s funny cuz I was thinking about this parents seem to look at this as you know they say the terrible twos right but it’s difficult. It is very important that they absolutely and I think today’s parenting culture has almost pushed parents into this idea that they have to do everything for their kid and the more that parents can can do to help the child become independent except for example cleaning up toys right that as a child learns that they can and are expected to clean up their own toys then it gives them another sense of Independence and then I can do it so always looking for ways to help your child be independent or is critical to helping them gain that confidence throughout life so and the opposite is really kind of interesting how the opposite of that Independence is that they they learned shame and they learned out right when we choose to dress our child rather than let them dress themselves or maybe just put the shirt on for themselves then overtime that can help them feel like Mom or Dad doesn’t trust me they don’t they doubt that I can do this on my own so I must not be able to do this on my own sure for sure because I think as kids get older and I and I’ve seen this a lot in in different ways through whether it’s family or friends or whatever that have children where they do coddle them they get to the stage where is just my experience for my routine but a lot of kids are really shy because they just don’t know how to interact without thinking they’re doing something wrong because this way n and honestly the professional say that the goal here is to help them have self control without a loss of self-esteem I like that. I’ve got to take a break here but you know these parenting principles and things that we try to teach to help families establish emotional resilience is exactly what we teach it at life launch and I just want to encourage everybody out there listening if you have any questions or concerns I would like to get some more information to how to help your loved ones struggling with anxiety or depression to give us a call at 833-803-3883 I we’re going to come back next half more with Erik Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development and I will be back in 1 minute.

Welcome back to the mental health moment I’m your host Joe Newman from Life lunch centers and joining me today Caden foremaster producer at Canyon media talking today about parenting and some of the stages that Erik Erikson german-american developmental psychologists in the sixties put forth to help you no help has learned what we can do as parents to help our kids grow in their emotional stability so Kayden we were talking last time about the first two stages this third stage is called initiative versus guilt which is is a kind of an interesting one it’s it’s one where the child asserts themselves more frequently it’s kind of from the age you know three years old up through kind of the Early Childhood years are they make up games they initiate activities with others you know these are these are is a very important stage where they learn how to play and become more social with people outside of their family and as they explore their interpersonal skills through initiating activities it can kind of be alarming to some parents some parents try to kind of put a put a cap on this or a lid on this and that you know maybe not have their kids want to go play at the neighbors house or not have their kids play this game right now as a child learns to initiate  As the child learns to initiate things again they grow in their confidence but as if they’re if it’s stifled if it’s kind of held back then interesting ly enough they develop a sense of guilt so that the tendency is that through criticism or or control you know not allowing our child to explore those initiatives then they develop the sense of guilt and they’ll often overstep the mark in their in their for wellness and the dangers that parents will tend to punish the child and restrict their initiatives too much that makes sense that yeah it does actually we have found it really interesting yeah it’s hard because you know today there’s this really overwhelming sense of safety for children and parents you know we’re not as willing to let their child explore their environment like the even their own neighborhood and and I’m I’m guilty this myself you know like when my four-year-old goes outside like I get nervous and thankfully we live in this amazing place in St George where you know the neighborhood is very safe but even if you’re you don’t have to balance safety versus initiative you know letting your child know where those safe boundaries are can really help them still Express their initiative I wear while being safe right my next door neighbor’s are they have a big family they have about six kids decent-size family F in all of the kids are are fairly young and I’ve seen this with them where their kids and then there’s some kids kind of threw the block has started update in the pushing their Trampoline by themselves it’s so fun to watch that they are there in that age group and in my own neighborhood and I love it I think it’s perfect that is perfect the other kid is trying to express their initiative and you know it’s at this stage when the child begin to ask a lot of questions and they thirst for knowledge and they you know if parents treat their initiatives or their questions is Trivial or a new sense or embarrass their or other aspects of their behavior is threatening then the child will will have these feelings of guilt or that they’re being a nuisance in too much guilt can make the child slow to interact with others and maybe inhibit their creativity so you know the some guilt is of course if necessary you know otherwise the child would not know how to exercise self-control or have a initiatives and go with that song you know the fourth stage here and this is an important one that he calls it to Industry vs. inferiority so this is at the ages of like 5 to 12 years old and again they’re going to grow in their autonomy they’re going to grow in their independence but really this stage is where it’s all about the child learning new skills you know this is the time where they learn to play sports or dance or excel at school and the more that the child can develop a sense of accomplishment then the the stronger emotionally they become right otherwise they they learn the sense of inferiority that when you go and set out your you know set your mind on something and you go and do it and then when you get that finished product you know just that feeling of accomplishing something whether it’s big or small like my mom always said you know make your bed in the morning so at least you start out your day with one accomplishment right you know that interesting ly I got to put a plug out there for the technology world because it seems like I did never really gained a lot of confidence having passed off a new level or beat a video game that I play but so much today I hear parents is when they like you know her bragging about their kids they’re like oh he’s so good at Minecraft or he’s good at some video game as though that were the the great accomplishment that they’ve achieved and you know I’ve as we’ve observed that those those don’t involve like a true sense of of development and accomplishments in the trial and so giving them opportunity to use their body and their brain and their talents to achieve things like physical things as it was kind of what they’re they’re talking about for sure you know we’re getting closer to ending her but I’m going to throw out the fifth stage 4 because this is a really important one is called identity versus role confusion and this is El Corazon adolescence from about ages 12 to 18 years old and during this stage adolescence search for a sense of self and personal identity through an intense exploration of personal values benefits and goals in wow I mean look at how that is being handled today hell yeah how much confusion role confusion you know gender confusion you know all sorts of confusion that that that’s happening today what do we know what we do as parents to help help our adolescence find out their identity what are we doing so well you know their main thing that they say here is that you know children become dependent on relationships with families and and so we reinforce that primarily there the child’s environment is what’s going to help determine their identity and it’s our it’s our responsibility as parents to help help a child realize who they are in some of the things that we’ve observed the damage that’s that the grown-up help reinforce you know the positive traits and maybe even call out some of the negative traits that they could they could refine and I think this is really that time where guidances is so critical even though that teenagers really don’t express that they want a lot of guidance they still silently take a lot of notes and respond really well to positive reinforcement yes so for sure you know there’s it’s it also happened so much because this is also the years of puberty right in the the stage of the body is is changing and they’re really trying to figure out who eventually there in a grow up to be about success in this stage will eventually lead to the virtue of fidelity so being able to commit oneself to accepting others to you know I’ll be able to have a friendship even though you may have ideological differences you know when they are able to establish their sense of identity then they become much more stable and confident they are right so again I think the things that we really can do as parents is to just reinforce not necessarily like you’re telling them who they are but reinforce those positive traits that you’ve known they have as children so there’s three other stages we didn’t have time to talk about I just wanted to invite everybody out there to look up Erik Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development for super helpful insightful for for both kids and and adults that we got to wrap it up here and I hope everybody out there got some helpful ideas about parenting and some things we can do right now to improve our mental health you are loved one is just overwhelmed with anxiety depression or any other difficulty motion just give us a call at Life Launch Centers the number is 833-803-3883.  We’re happy to do a free 15-minute phone consultation to help you know what the best course of action would be or jump on our website at life lunch centers.com there’s a lot of great free resources that this has been your mental health moment join us again next time right here on St George news radio this is Joe Newman signing off from Life Launch Centers until next time keep those kids safe and keep your sanity.