Having reduced emotional distress to a level where the frontal cortex, executive function, can come back online, we are now able to interpret current events in a rational way. With access to executive function we can engage in the prescribed steps of problem solving: Identify the problem, state the problem using only facts leaving out the “stories in my head”, brainstorm all possible solutions, evaluate possible solutions, implement alternatives, and evaluate the outcome.

We all experience crises in our lives. Sometimes these crises are big, like a divorce, a death, a layoff, failing school, or a break up. Sometimes these crises are small, like traffic, a long line at check out, or not knowing what to wear that day. Distress tolerance skills help us get to a more manageable emotional place for crisis survival. An important aspect of emotion regulation is understanding that painful emotions are not bad, or something that must be avoided. They are a normal part of life, but there are ways to acknowledge and then let go of these feelings so that one is not controlled by them.

Being able to recognize what is going on around us and inside our head enhances our ability to observe rather than react to upsetting events and negative feelings, allowing us to respond with greater wisdom and effectiveness. This creates what we call the “miracle moment”. When we become aware, we then have agency and can choose to act rather than be acted upon.

The human brain requires connection with others. It is essential to vitality, health, life duration, and even survival itself. Brain research is showing that feeling isolated or lonely increases our risk of heart disease, heart attack, stroke, high blood pressure, disability, cognitive decline, dementia, depression, and suicide. While holding tightly to our values and goals it is important to identify those traits, behaviors, and qualities in others that can help us safely connect. Resilience includes knowing when and how to reach out to others for help in meeting the challenges we face.

Our mental and physical ability to cope with challenges depends on life balance. Life balance requires:

• Tending to our own needs and feelings.
• Taking care of physical illness.
• Participating in activities and hobbies we enjoy.
• Including physical activity in our daily routine.
• Getting plenty of sleep.
• Taking care of our nutrition by eating regularly.
• Practicing stress management and relaxation techniques, such as yoga, meditation, guided imagery, deep breathing or prayer.